He meant to eviscerate her with his words. He wanted to use his pen to bleed her dry, and as he pulled the instrument across the top of the paper, he imagined a knife across the surface of her skin, the ink bleeding like blood, black running onto red. He wanted to destroy her from the inside out, not just physically but also the core of her being. He wanted to use words to unwrap everything that she was within; her brain and her heart and her soul until she was nothing left but little flutters of paper in the wind that would soon dissolve into even less than nothing.
He was a writer, but according to her, not a good one. For eight hours a day, he went to work only to be beaten down verbally, deflated emotionally, and sucked dry of his creativity. For eight hours a day, five days a week, he was told time and again how terrible he was at his passion. Now he wrote with a single-minded goal- to show her that he could eviscerate her.
Maybe he was a bad man, but he didn’t care because it felt good to be bad. It felt good to imagine his writing, the thing she hated the most, being the thing to destroy her. It felt so good to use what he knew was his power to prove that he was not the lowly scum that she made him feel like every day. He needed to prove that he could create worlds but more than that; that he could destroy with his writing.
Tonight he took his revenge. Sitting in the near-dark with only a small candle illuminating the pages, he writes, furiously. As the words compile on the page, they darken the white sheet in front of him. He knew he was destroying her with his vocabulary, but what he didn’t realize until now was that as she lifted from the page that is tangible life, so was he. As the words spilled out of him, the cells of his cutaneous layer lift themselves from his body. He was eviscerating her but also himself.
Jamie Zaccaria is a wildlife biologist by trade and writer by pleasure. She currently works for a wildlife conservation organization and writes fiction in her spare time. She is also a part-time Staff Writer for The Rational Online. She currently lives in New Jersey with her girlfriend, cats and pitbull. For a complete portfolio, please visit www.jamiezaccaria.com. Bienvenue au Danse, Jamie.