There was a strong knock at the door. It was followed by a couple more – louder.
Michael once again made the mistake of opening up without asking who was there. In front of him was a small man, dressed up as a vampire. He was around the one sixty five centimeters mark in height. His tiny frame wrapped in what appeared to be expensive fabric.
“I am here for the blood ceremony”. – Without being invited he came in.
“Excuse me? I am not interested in joining any cults, thanks.” – said Michael.
“You must be the panderer of the lady. I dealt directly with her. I apologize for that. We agreed that she would let me bite her. Two thousand euros was the required quantity”.
“Is this some sort of secret camera thing?” –said Michael.
Michael stepped past the miniature man into the corridor. He looked at both ends without finding anything that remotely resembled a hidden camera.
“Now seriously, what do you want? Your costume is cute and all, but I have no candy.”
The minute visitor handed him a stack of fifty euro bills – held by a bat money clip. Michael looked at the cash. Without a second thought he slipped it into his pocket and closed the door.
“The fee is not to be changed, right?”
“Of course not, my girls know well the pricing policy.” – playing along might be fun, thought Michael.
“Excellent. A mis-reckoning would be counterproductive.” –said the visitor as he was conducted towards the couches.
“I know, right? Please do take a seat. Would you like anything to drink?” – said Michael politely.
“I shall have the blood of a courtesan, if you please”.
“Of course, what am I thinking? Please, take a seat. Wait, just one second, we will sort this place out for you.” –said Michael.
Michael quickly removed a dirty cushion from his old comfortable couch. Swiftly he picked up an empty food tray from the table and placed it on the floor, as a swipe of his hand got rid of the crumbs on the surface.
“Clean enough. I need a drink for this.” – Michael said as he took off towards the kitchen.
The short man sat and pulled himself back on the couch—he grimaced as he felt something poking him from behind. A small control remote was fished out and left delicately on the stained table.
Michael sat on the sofa across from his patron—an almost full pint glass on his hand.
“You should try this vodka, it is from Poland.”
“Regarding our agreement…” – interjected the small man.
“Of course, of course, may I ask which girl you booked for the biting session?”-said Michael.
“Eva.” said the small man as he flushed.
“Eva, the Neighbour? Nooo way. Well now that I think…”
“Excuse me, what do you mean by the neighbour?” – The visitor said.
“I mean, she is your girl next door type of hooker.”-said Michael.
“Yeah, Escort, right. But before you start gnawing on her, I must go through our usual questions.”- Said Michael.
“There were no FAQs on the website.”
“You don’t worry about that. It is just a couple of questions. Standard procedure, you know.”-said Michael.
“I am not versed in your line of business. Proceed, please.”
“Have you had sexual intercourse before today?” – said Michael.
“How is this of relevance?” – The small man protested.
“Please just answer the question; this has to do with diseases and such.” – Michael said with as much of a straight face as he could muster.
“Oh…well, ummm, of course I had.”
“Yeah, right”— Michael repressed his laughter. “Neeeext question: Are your intentions to bite and bang, or just to bite?”
“Bite only. I require warm blood to awaken mine vampirism.”
“I see. It was not mentioned to me that this was for vampire activation. We charge a bit more for those.”-said Michael.
“But, you said the price was not to be changed. I gave you all my money.”
“You are right. This time I will let it slide, but next time you want to suck on any of my girls, I mean, bite, you better bring another five hundred euros.”
“Once my true self is unveiled through blood I shall take all I want, without paying.” – said mini-Dracula.
“That’s not…”-said Michael.
“None shall be able to resist my glamour. The night shall be mine for the taking…”
“Yeah, yeah. – interjected Michael. “I can totally see you turning into a bat, and flying, and all of that. Just ‘cause you will be able to wish yourself into mist, doesn’t mean you should forget those who helped you get there!”
“I shall spare your life then, but if I relish the blood of your employee, I shall return promptly to devour her!”
“That would be twelve thousand euro extra, mind you.”-said Michael.
“Money will be…”
A soft knock at the door interrupted the conversation. Michael looked at his visitor.
“You brought friends along? That’s going to cost even more, you know.”
Michael hurried to the door, excited about the prospect of another weirdo.
“Oh. Hi Eva.” – Michael said slightly disappointed.
“Sorry to bother you Michael but…aaaaaaaawwwwww!!”-shrieked Eva.
“Are you insane?! You just bit her on the wrist!”-said Michael.
“Power beyond boundaries…”- said the tiny man as he scurried away.
“I…It stings! Oh man! I am actually bleeding.”-said Eva.
The girl was holding her wrist, blood tickling through her fingers.
“Let me see”-said Michael.
“Get away from me, you Freak! My boyfriend is gonna kick both your weird-ass heads in.“ –said Eva.
“But…, I mean it was a joke and…”-said Michael.
“Laaaatrell.”-yelled the girl.
“Sweet, Sweet blood, I shall drink the Harlot dry.” – said the miniscule monster as he ran towards the girl.
“Get away from her you freak!”-said Michael.
As Michael tried to contain the incoming bloodthirsty beast, Eva ran away.
“Laaaaatrell, baaaaby! A midget has bit me. It hurts. The asshole made me bleed… ” Eva said as she entered her apartment.
“Eva, wait! Let me help you. Away with you, you little perverted bastard.” – said Michael as he pushed off his attacker to chase after the girl.
“I smell blood and candy here…” – said the little man to an empty apartment.
Michael didn’t make it across the hall. Midway he had been intercepted by a massive man wearing a dirty tank top shirt. Without any introductions, the burly fellow had punched him square in the nose. The blow had been so powerful, that he had fallen back into his apartment floor, bouncing once.
A furious Latrell entered the apartment—also without an invitation.
“What the hell is going on? Who bit my girl?” – Latrell asked as he kicked Michael.
“Awww, ouch. No! Stop! Stoop! It was the midget!”-said Michael.
“What midget? I see no mother…aaaaaaaw.”
“Flesh-peddler, I shall drink you dead.”-said the wee abomination.
“Damn dwarf bit me on the leg!”-said Latrell.
“Told you”-Michael paused to cough. “ It was him who done the biting.”
“Motherfucker is licking his lips! – said Latrell.
“What a delectable whore-monger.”
“Excuuuuuse me! No one calls me no ho-minger! –said Latrell.
Eat lead, dwarf!”-said Latrell.
Latrell pulled a hand gun from his back. Two shots to the chest sent the elegant interloper three meters back; shoving him behind the couch.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. What the hell! You killed him! Oh man, you…” –said Michael.
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” – Latrell’s order was more convincing as it was uttered with accompanying gun to Michael’s temple.
“Now you listen good, you prick. I know that weirdo over there came with plenty dough. Where’s my two grand, bitch?”
“Heeere,ouch! Heeere it is. Take it. Pleasee, don’t hurt me.” – said Michael through broken teeth.
“Tis too late for that, punk.”-said Latrell.
There was nothing but anger in Latrell’s eyes. His hatred stayed on as the tickle of blood appeared on his neck. His head fell into Michael’s chest, knocking the wind out of him.
“Puny human, your bullets but tickled me.”
“Fuck me…you…you are not…”-said Michael.
“Silence, I can but hear the screams of my hunger.”
Red eyes fixated on Michel. The man was changed; a ravenous beast had taken the place of the nerd.
The creature froze for a second, his gaping mouth full with sharp teeth.
“True.”—the beast conceded. “You are to be spared.”
“Yo Latrell hun, are you done with… “- Eva said as she entered.
Before Eva could utter another word the vampire landed on her.
Michael closed his swollen eyes and listened to the gurgling noises.