Sarah E. Alderman — THREE POEMS

History Has Taught You

Again it happens
And history has taught you
You have no one to blame
But yourself
His pattern of behavior
Is remerging
But still you are shocked
Still you are taken
By surprise
This cycle, this pattern obviously
Does not hold weight
In your memory
You will always be disappointed
Always will you be let down
Left out
Left waiting and wanting
Something that you will never have
And history has taught you
What will happen
And still you bare yourself
Ready for the first blood to be spilt
And it is always yours
No longer are you a little girl
Except when he reduces you to
To tears
And for him it comes so naturally
So casually, so easily
You fear that even with age
With wisdom, with years
That separate and divide you
This love never grows
Never evolves
It just stays adrift in time
And spans forever
Past, present, future
He will never change
And neither will you
And when hes gone
You will regret that these words
Have found someone else
Before they found him

Whole New Low

I found a whole new low
Know even lower
I lick the gravel beneath you
Pull myself up by your boot straps
Pull me up by the back of my neck
Hands full of red hair
I say a silent prayer
To the gods that have abandoned me here
Im between a rock and hard place
But, you know I love to be forced
Up against the wall
Blind folded, cigarette between my lips
I’m just waiting
For the firing squad
I’m just waiting
For the final blow
It seems like Im always waiting
Just for you
To pull me up, to tear me down
Put me in my place
Where I belong
I found a hole, knew low
Know lower
A tear in the psyche
A rip in the fine fabric of morality
Just enough for you
To stick your tongue into
Just enough leeway for me to get off
From your bone crushing rampages
There are some nightmares
You can never wake from
There are some nightmares
You create and recreate
Just to see if you can survive them
Just to make sure you will never forget them

Other Things Given in the Spirit of Blasphemy

Four gospels, a song for every boy
I name them, I bless them
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
And what of the holy trinity
I could not find them
In the climax and closure
In the fairy tale of salvation
I am lost and no God would want
What I have torn asunder
What I have pushed aside
My memory fails me
All rules suffocate
My very instinct to thrive,
Rebel
I am no longer filled

Gluttonous, devious, dangerous
I am lost with a song on my lips
Insatiable with a hunger in my heart
I take part in the feast of bread and wine
Because it is His flesh, His blood
And I will laugh, mock,
Make sacrilege of stories told
The fables that have brainwashed the masses

With this hymn on my lips
I will sing
Raising my hands towards the heavens
Swaying my hips over the very roof of hell
I will sing
The Psalms that are on my lips
I will sing
That I can still taste His body,
His blood
Oh Father, who art in heaven
There is no salvation
For lamb turned wolf
Who devours the flock
And desecrates the Shepherd

My hands and thighs still slick with him
With them
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
A song for every boy, a line for every lay
And a toast
To the heady wine of blood and flesh
And other things given in the spirit of blasphemy

Sarah E. Alderman is not an established poet. She is in fact an anti-established poet, writer, and artist. She writes because she reads and reads because she writes. She believes in vicious cycles and full circles. She gets her inspiration from music, books, the world around her and her own sometimes painful, sometimes beautiful life. You can find her works in Negative Suck, Dark Chaos, Shred the Safe House, Gutter Eloquence, Flash Fiction World, Three Line Poetry and Short, Fast, and Deadly.

 

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