Pānchālī
Sunil P. Narayan
Pulled into my husbands’ court by my uncombed hair
Thrown onto the floor where hundreds of feet touch its thick, red silk
The flowing carpet rises and falls like the mist of my lotus-laden lake
I know you are immovable in your rage Shákuni!
Your ego knows no limits, it is like a snake stalking a mouse
Quietly without remorse in its meager heart
All eyes watch me cry in anguish as you pull my śāṭī
To the end of this room it flows like the Gaṅgā
Shining with its thin, gold-laden fabric
And crippled by your greedy fingers!
Dignified beauty you tossed with your dice
Human emotions you sacrificed with your heart
Bring your eyes to mine to see one word: regret
Ha! You are the nectar’s enemy: regret!
If you spit on my chastity then Kṛṣṇa-Devá will smite you this instant!
His cakraṃ: a knife for your spineless body
All my fears that followed me at night when I visited my lord in secret
Nibbling on the black pearls around my neck while I watched the roses rise
They are you…a shadow that rapes Sóma-Devá
I cannot give you my body for it belongs to Keśava!!
My life will one day be returned to his village
To live as a cowherd while churning milk for his hungry pink lips
The boyish smile and curly hair barely touches his shoulders
Eyes so wide yet shaped like the waning moon
Little specks in the corner of both are galaxies unknown to us
So far away where other people exist for whom Kṛṣṇa-Devá is their mahārāja
If I am his then he is my ruler too!
Shákuni, you are the drunken ego: a corrupted seed for humanity!
My body is a vase holding the virtues of Sūrya-Devá
He touched my spirit to give me a bit of his own
Disrobing me in front of my husbands and all the Āryas of their kingdom
is a sacrilege!
I beg you to stop this great injustice!!!
Can’t you see I have sunken into a sea of distress!?
No, you are busy drowning my voice with your wicked laughter
Brahmā-Devá gave you a boon that protects your life from any physical or divine harm
Yet, has he no shame when seeing this monstrous deed?
Ma! You are Sarvāsuravināśā-Devī, come to my rescue!!!
Show your terrifying face to this savage
Make him cower under your crippling stare, ma!
Turn his limbs into brittle sticks so he will stop treating my honor like a toy
Sunil P. Narayan: “Sunil’s work has been a long, enriching journey that absorbed the world’s eccentricities to create a masterpiece of color, surrealism and human emotion. The past two years witnessed a climatic moment in which his writing churned out emotionally-inducing poems. It is his intent to help people access feelings they rarely get to experience.”
