Blake Cunningham LAMENTATION AT A GARDEN FOUNTAIN

The mother moved her figure forth the wall,
The fountain grasped in the grip of moss,
Her blue shawl clutched, her hands weary,
Her thoughts lost in haze of misgiving
Touched only by the shades of the wayward
Trees that bent over the closure’s molds,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what could’ve been done?”

Her arms had stretched to pull the Star
From its earthly ladder, column of despair,
Her robe placed over the fleeting senses
So not to give the light to hunting dark,
A force that now moved as ocean surge
Through valleys and fields from deliverance,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what could’ve been done?”

She found her body lay on reservoir edge
With withered suckles in her delicate palm,
And counting petals as they fled her embrace
She hummed a requiem for her wasted purpose,
Swan song for the world to sing en-masse
For it had yet to witness what was to prosper,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what could’ve been done?”

A fowl did nothing to call the greenery to talk
Nor sound out the hymn of reverie,
But only sat on branch to gaze at tellurian
With sigh of the greatest reserve
And count the hours and days in time
To humble maiden on verge of relinquishment,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what could’ve been done?”

Her humming filled the garden with mist,
As to cloud the plants from needful shine,
And down she stepped into the watery mount
To cleanse her aging hands of nectar stains
The suckle had so solemnly left as it moved
From hand to float on shimmering surface,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what should’ve been done?”

The fountain reflected phases of distress,
A face scarred by past to never be freed
By whims of days that seemed so distant
That even the sky wrinkled with fret,
And she spoke:

“There, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh my—Oh my—what should’ve been done?”

And stripping her shawl from her back,
Her gown from her body, as Venusian maid,
She dipped herself into the foggy bath
Slipping her head beneath its measures,
And she thought:

“Forever, the clouds have eclipsed my Sun,
Oh God—what should I have done!”

 
 
Blake Cunningham
is a student at the University of South Alabama. Born and raised in the South, he took it upon himself at an early age to admire the Southern culture, but speak and write differently. He spends most of his time thinking about aesthetic theory, and when not consumed by this, he enjoys reading John Milton and Flannery O’Connor while listening to Mozart’s violin concerti.

Tom Foster STAYING HOME

 
Prologue: The End

Last chance preacher, leave now.  The old man sat upon his knees, fear causing his entire body to tremble as he stared upward, not bothering to look at the gossamer, translucent form of the figure that spoke to him.  The six individuals that stood close to him were struck in dumbfounded awe just as he was, their fear holding them in place as the bone-chilling phenomena they now witnessed hung poised like the threat it was.  A chill breeze wafted about the cemetery they were in, its chill fingers easily sinking beneath their clothing as each of them shuddered terribly.  The cold was far worse than any natural chill any of them had experienced, enhanced as it was by the urgings of the spirit that now stood against them. 

“Stop this now Tamlin.  In the name of God please stop.  I know you son, this isn’t like you.”  Preacher Aaron Nordel couldn’t help but quake with fear as he met the furious gaze of the ghostly figure that stood several yards away, his guts trembling as he tried desperately to bring his fear under control.  He was speaking the truth at least, he did know this spirit well enough by now that such behavior was not the norm.  Though he also was forced to realize that much had changed since he and Tamlin had seen each other last.  As he glanced upward the two score of headstones that hung suspended in midair continued to hover, bits and pieces of rich earth and clumps of grass falling away from their weather-beaten surfaces.  Each one had to weight at least two hundred pounds or more, and there were a few among the lot that might well weigh in excess of seven to eight hundred pounds. 

Do you think you can dodge all these preacher?  You did well enough with just two.  The mocking tone of the spirit saddened Aaron as he cast his eyes again to the shade of the man he’d come to respect over the many years they’d known each other.  As a preacher and as a devout Christian, Aaron had at first believed the spirit of Tamlin Erevar to be a malignantly playful poltergeist that had sought to do little more than torment the folk of his hometown.  Tamlin wasn’t the typical spirit however, though of course at that time Aaron hadn’t had any understanding whatsoever what was typical of those who had crossed over from life into the realm that Tamlin now inhabited.  In fact he’d known almost nothing of spirits, being a practical and level-headed man of God who didn’t happen to believe in ghosts and their like.

Tamlin had managed to change his mind quite easily concerning the realm of the afterlife.  The man had simply decided that he didn’t wish to go either way upon death, preferring to stay upon the land that had been his home in life.  Though Aaron and Tamlin had had this discussion many times Tamlin had never once divulged his true reasons for staying behind.  Aaron had thought that perhaps the man simply didn’t know and wasn’t willing to admit as much.  Whatever the reason, the two men had grown to be friends during the many years they’d known each other.  It was an odd relationship to be sure, though it had been just as rewarding as any other friendship Aaron had ever experienced, if only much more dangerous.

“Why are you doing this Tamlin?  Please, in the name of all that’s holy, all that we’ve experienced, tell me why.”  Tamlin’s empty white gaze bored deeply into Aaron as the two continued to lock stares, burning with a deep intensity that only the dead can truly master.  That chilling gaze struck deep past Aaron’s resolve, cutting past everything that made him who he was, piercing straight into the core of his being.  It was just then that Aaron realized that Tamlin was no longer the gentle spirit he’d known.  He had lost his friend, and in so realizing this Aaron felt his heart break just a little. 

You had your chance preacher.  Tamlin shifted his body as he spoke, reaching his right arm back as though to throw something, his eyes devoid of anything save the cold fury that had consumed him.  As he rotated his arm quickly forward a single headstone, a thing of solid white marble, was plucked from its place in midair as it flew with blinding speed towards one of the stunned onlookers.  Even at half its current speed the slab of marble would have easily crushed the man it struck, though as it crashed into the hapless demonologist it picked the man up bodily from the ground.  Catching him from forehead to midsection the large slab bore him to the ground where bone crunched and blood flew.  The man was dead before any of the others even realized that Tamlin was rotating his arm back yet again, intent on burying them all beneath the heavy blocks of marble and sandstone. 

One by one they were crushed and broken beneath the slabs, their bodies driven hard and deep into the soft mulch that comprised the grounds of the cemetery.  Only seconds later Aaron was alone against his former friend, his body quaking as he began to succumb to his fear.  Though he clutched a blessed cross in his hands he knew very well that it was useless against Tamlin.  For all Aaron’s belief and love in God, he knew that he was on his own when it came to his friend. 

“Please Tamlin.  I beg you, do not do this.  More people will come after this.  Can you take them all on?”  He had learned long before now that imploring Tamlin to move on towards whatever fate awaited him was useless.  The shade had somehow bound himself to this world, walking a plane that was still the earth he remembered but on a much different level than human beings were accustomed to.  He was beyond the norm for many spirits, neither bound to a place nor capable of being exorcised.  In their first dealings Tamlin had actually laughed at the priests that had been asked to drive him towards the next life.  He’d played with them in a harmless manner before revealing that he was in fact not a malignant spirit, but a simple observer who meant no harm to anyone.

Exorcisms and holy rites had run off this shade like water off a duck’s back, none of them so much causing a twinge within Tamlin’s mind.  In fact the only thing that had ever caused the spirit any amount of pain had been the physical contact of another.  Aaron’s eyes widened as he remembered this, though as he continued to gaze into the dead white eyes of his former friend he wondered if his hasty plan might have any chance of working.  Tamlin was quite a ways away, and Aaron was far too old to be as quick as he’d once been.  And being on his knees meant he would need to explode forward, a prospect that sent a twinge of pain through each joint.  He wasn’t a young man anymore, not by any means.

Still, if he could perhaps keep his old friend talking, it might just work.  A slow, cruel smile crossed Tamlin’s lips in the next moment however, dashing away any hope Aaron might have continued to entertain.

You think I can’t see what you’re planning preacher?  I’ve known you for far too long.  You think you’re fast enough?  Then by all means, go for it.  Aaron felt another stab of fear as the cold voice of his friend penetrated his mind, bludgeoning and slashing at his being as he quailed under its force.  He was not a strong man, he knew this as Tamlin ravaged his mind once again, laying him bare in a violation so horrible that Aaron couldn’t help but scream in horror as he was presented with his own weaknesses.  Somehow he still found the strength to rise to his feet, his knees popping loudly as he cried out in pain. 

“I, I wanted to help you Tamlin.  That’s all.”  He knew it was futile, but as Aaron began to move forward he saw through narrowed eyes as Tamlin began to draw his right arm back.  Another slab began to tremble as Aaron raised his eyes to the many that still hung in the air, noting the single one that was moving ever so slightly.  Bringing his eyes back to Tamlin he began to breathe heavily, placing one foot in front of the other as he advanced.

Think this through preacher.  There’s no need for you to die.  Just go away and leave me alone.  That’s all I ask.  Aaron remained silent as he continued to advance, thinking that if Tamlin was still willing to talk then perhaps he could be reached before he did something too rash.  Of course, with the crushed remains of six human beings behind him Aaron knew too well that rash acts were not beyond his former friend.  Still he advanced, not running but rather stalking towards Tamlin with a slowness that had all the surreal quality of a living nightmare. 

So be it.  Aarons’ eyes widened as the single headstone that had been trembling stopped, sensing that this had only been a feint.  Looking straight up he had only the vague impression of a badly weathered inscription before he was crushed to the ground, the heavy slab of marble smashing his skull easily as he was hit with the force of a runaway truck.  Though he was driven into the ground he was beyond saving as bone was flattened and brain matter was splattered in gobs and chunks all about the slab.  Aaron had found no time for a final thought, his surprise at having being murdered by one of his best friends far too much to assimilate. 

  He’d become what he had once helped to eliminate.  There was no turning back, no apologizing for what he’d done.  His only true friend left in this world was dead.  All those who Tamlin had shared his life with before passing away had gone to the grave a number of years ago.  There was no longer anyone to stem the tide his rage had become, no one to balance him when needed.  He was grateful for this in a way, it allowed him to act without the nagging conscience that had for so long dictated what he would do.  No longer did he feel the need for restraint, nor the guilt over the acts he had just committed.  He’d warned them, all he wanted was to be left alone, but they hadn’t heeded his warning. 

Preacher Aaron Nordel and his two priests, one demonologist and three paranormal experts had done nothing save irritate him with their inane prattle.  The preacher had already known exorcisms were a waste of time.  Tamlin was no demon, no poltergeist and no malevolent spirit bent on torturing others.  He was simply in his element, in his home.  He had no desire to leave, neither heaven nor hell held any appeal for him.  This was his home, and damnit, he meant to stay.  As he closed his eyes he released the control he’d held over the headstones, allowing them to drift slowly back to the holes they had been ripped from.  There was no reason to further desecrate the dead, no matter if their spirits were long departed. 

Tamlin was weary from the heated arguments and constant fights he’d been forced to wage with the supposed experts that the preacher had brought around him.  He knew very well that his former friend had been trying to help him, though in the end, just before this liberating attack, Tamlin had told Aaron in no uncertain terms that he wished only to be left alone. 

He felt only a short stab of sorrow over what he’d done, though it passed quickly as he shook himself, turning about to walk back farther into the cemetery.  Tamlin couldn’t feel the chill of the ankle-high mist that seemed to cling to the grounds, nor could he smell the sharp, coppery scent that hung about the air.  There were at least a few perks to being a shade. 

It took him only a few moments to reach the spot he’d been sitting upon when Aaron and his six meddlers had come calling.  For some time now he’d favored this single grave within the cemetery, though to this date he still didn’t know why.  There was a strange effect that seemed to cause him to gravitate towards this one spot.  It was a pull that he could easily resist, though in all truthfulness, he didn’t want to.  The feeling that came to him upon seating himself once more in front of this gravestone was not unlike the feeling of coming home, the comfort that was inherent with what was known and considered safe.  For now, it was all that Tamlin knew, and all that he needed.

 
 
Tom Foster
is a frequent contributor to Danse Macabre.

Billie Maciunas LANDSCAPE FROM THE WINDOW AT BEIRA MAR

The world is surprised by so much
much weariness (I am not surprised…)
in the wings of seagulls in flight
the graceful movement straight
toward the apocalyptic suicide in the ocean
ocean of Lautreámont
where I saw my love floating
the most loved of all!
that I strangled with these lyrical hands of mine.

          Paulo Garcez de Sena, Escritura da Palavra & do Som, Fortaleza-Ceará, Brazil, 1985

Billie Maciunas
writes and translates from Portuguese, Latin, and German. Her forthcoming book, The Eve of Fluxus: A Fluxmemoir, is about her involvement in the 1960s avant garde art phenomenon, Fluxus. She lives in Orlando, FL.

Sonia Halbach NODOZ & MAHLER’S 2nd SYMPHONY

 
The combination of two -
only two -
caffeine pills and the opening
cords of the first movement
have strange effects on a person;
sitting in the packed plump,
sweaty chilled auditorium,
listening to the aggressive
bow strokes lifting and
striking the violins,
I came out
of my mind and joined
those in the choir,
fatigued from standing,
waiting anxiously for the
last movement
to come out.
 
 
Sonia Halbach
is currently finishing her BA in English and Communications at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, SD. Previous publications include The New Writer, Taj Mahal Review, Savannah Art and Literature, Emprise Review, Chronogram, The Taylor Trust, Breadcrumb Scabs, Main Channel Voices, SP Quill, Concise Delight and upcoming works in Conceit and Amulet. She is also the winner of the Maya Angelou Peace Poem Competition in 2007.

Divya Rajan HOW’D MY BONES SOUND?

 
When they cut me open for the seventy eighth time, the spleen fell apart, dried blood withered like crimson wafers left to soak in sun’s aura, flurries of orange rind dispersed as spores. For this time, it was real. Bones squeaked harpish acute tones, shone as molten marble, stories crumbling out of a jarred mouth barely accustomed to spilling, a few suns ago. Am I assuming too much here? What stories’d they tell, my bones, my withered ashes in a utopic jar, perhaps having overcome a sandstorm in the middle of an oasis? Would they be interpreted as gasps, lisps or murmurs? Would their whispers be engraved on stone walls across the desert sands? How’d my bones sound really, even if they merely squeaked? Would they be honest? Would they tell all? Or withhold? Darn…Back to ponderings, would they sport a mawkish grin, and brood, for all I did know?
 
 
Divya Rajan
originally from Bombay, lives in Chicago area where she co- edits the poetry pages of The Furnace Review. Her poems have appeared in Apparatus, Gloom Cupboard, Foundling Review, The Times of India, Muse India (translations) and others. She has been a recipient of All- Bombay Intercollegiate Creative Non- fiction Writing Award, a Pushcart Prize nomination and recently, her poem, Fire Woman Says, was chosen to be included in Poetic Chicago anthology. She’s currently working on her first poetry chapbook, Chanting Silhouettes.

Brittany Stone MERMAID

 
“Once upon a time, there was a girl.”

There was no storm to herald her birth. No raging of the sea or darkening of the sky announced such an auspicious occasion. Instead, she was born during a calm with not a breath of wind to cool her mother’s perspiring face. Nonna laughed every time she recounted the story, “Only those destined to be villains or heroes are given such an announcement. The rest of us, well, we forge our own path. And you, little one, are very lucky. Being born during a calm has done wonders for your temper.”

Meris smiled proudly; inscribing the story deep within so that no one could ever tell where the story started and Meris ended. Nonna always told stories. “The telling of tales is in our blood. So is the making,” she added winking at her youngest grandchild.

Meris didn’t miss Nonna. She knew Nonna’s stories well enough to mumble them to herself in dreams, and in the end, that was all that mattered. Not a person’s touch or smell or presence, but their stories.

“She lived by the ocean with her sister and her father”

Neither Meris nor Lotte or Papa ever left the town where they lived. “I’m just a simple fisherman,” her father boasted, “I know my place. Why should I leave for places unknown when all I need is the sea?”

Meris wasn’t interested in the wide world of the land. What did it matter when eventually the sea would reclaim all? She watched it, nibbling at the coastline, or trying to devour a cliff. Farmers bemoaned the loss of fertile land. Meris sat for hours sometimes watching the ocean reclaim what once it had lost. She told Lotte about this once. Lotte had laughed.

“Every day she went out to beach and watched the waves.”

Meris always woke at dawn. She walked out barefoot and in her flimsy white nightgown. She’d ventured out along the beach, clad in nothing but sand and lace. She picked clams during the earliest part of the morning when the sky painted the sea pink. She spotted the little bubbles left in the surf from where the clam vented air. Facing the surf, she’d bend over, sticking the shovel into the soft sand. After a few expert scoops she’d uncover the clam, then reach to place it into her yellow plastic bucket. From the distance it looked like she was praying.

Late mornings were leisurely. Lotte would paint her face carefully. Using first this cream then that. When Meris told her that it smelled bad Lotte bloomed red and proclaimed that it smelled better than salt, seaweed, and fish guts. Most mornings her father fished and Lotte worked in the hotel, cleaning up after the people who left their trash on the beaches.

This morning Meris swam and examined the tide pools: playgrounds the ocean provided solely for her amusement. As it did the shells. She thought that the shells washed up on the beach must be poor things indeed. The ocean kept the best things for itself. Therefore the best shells were to be found in the sea. Full of interesting crabs and worms and similar crustaceans. Other people found it odd that she didn’t collect the shells she found. Instead she returned them to their original positions, resting in the warm sand.

During the afternoon their father returned with the catch. Lotte claimed that their scales irritated her skin, that the boning and gutting of the fish disgusted her. She wouldn’t touch their father’s catch. So Meris did. Sitting by the wharf where the boats were tied to keep them from wandering.

Lotte came home at night. They’d eat dinner (invariably fish or clam or crab) while seated around the old, wooden table. Exposure to the salty air had pitted and weathered its surface. Father gulped his food down like whales did brine, while Lotte nibbled her meal like the little fish in the tide pools would to Meris’ bare toes. After dinner the others dropped into exhausted sleep, too tired even to dream. Meris sat awake in front of the glowing hearth, opening the door to the crash of the tides, and the glow of the moon. At such times she’d remember Nonna. Nonna would sit in the old, frayed chair by the fire smoking her pipe, with Meris curled up by her knees. Nonna often pulled a carved comb through Meris’ hair, braiding it with smoke and stories.

Meris told herself a story. The best stories began “Once upon a time.” This story Meris crafted herself. She made it with the sounds of the waves and the pull of the comb. With the glow of the fire and the smell of fish. It was this story that she poured herself into, forcing truth into every fall of her words. In it Meris was not a girl of knobby knees, burned skin, and scrawny limbs. Instead she was all seaweed and pearls, a thing of the sea.

“She wished more than anything to be a mermaid.”

The next day dawned as all the others before it had. She got up, hunted for clams, and kissed her sister goodbye. She then went to the wharf where her father stood waiting for her by the heap of fish. She greeted him and picked up the knife, preparing to scale it. Her father looked at her oddly. She wondered if he could see the thoughts in her head. If he would send her home; fearful of pulling her up, bloated and pale, in his net. Instead he smiled at her, “Well, it’s good to see you so happy.” She nearly laughed. Was that what this was about. Was she smiling?

“So she came up with a plan.”

Meris carefully scaled the fish. Cutting just so, so that flesh and scale fell connected in narrow strips. She collected the strips using several of her clamming buckets. She used the regular slop buckets for the heads and guts and bones. Finishing this, she ran home buckets flying out behind her. She hurriedly stored them in a dark cool place under her bed and filled each bucket with cold seawater. That night her father returned from the market and Lotte came back from her job at the hotel. Both were too tired to notice her mood. They went to sleep after dinner, Lotte climbing into the bed they shared, unmindful of what lay hidden beneath.

Meris awoke the next morning. She lay still in bed. Her stomach felt like it had been stuffed full of kelp and wriggling crabs. She could feel herself sweat and tremble, too full of nerves to stay still. Today was the day.

Lotte was concerned. She lingered over her morning grooming, offering water or medicine to her sister. Meris refused. She knew that everything would soon be made right. She watched her sister paint her face. And jumped up when she’d left.

“She made herself a tail out of the skin of fish.”

From the sewing supplies she took needles and strong thread. She labored all morning and into the afternoon; drawing the thread into small, tight stitches. She was careful not to tear the flesh, or remove any scales. She labored over it all morning, hands stiff and scales dulled from constant exposure to the air. When she finally finished it was nearly time to help her father with the catch.

Instead she carefully picked up her skin and cradled it in her arms. She walked down to the water, clothed in scales and thread. The water frothed gently lapping at her feet, her thighs, her hips. It was welcoming her. It knew what she was doing. She smiled and then carefully, oh so carefully, she pulled the tail up over her legs to her thighs. It was hard to move her legs. She’d spent time practicing swimming with her legs bound before, and now she remembered the skill she’d perfected.

“Then she went into the ocean and put on her tail.”

Meris swam. She dived deep, blinking the salt sting that burned her eyes until she could no longer feel it. She watch the fish dart about intent on their own business, weaving scenes around her. She saw crabs and eels, kelp and coral, and even the shadows of a pod of dolphins.

She moved with the inherent grace of the moon and the tides that was found in all the creatures of the sea. Eventually, as afternoon blended into evening, so did the scales of her crafted tail merge into her skin. Soon there was no seam marking the start of one and the end of the other.

“The tail stuck to her flesh, and where it touched, it became real. Slowly, the threads unraveled and the scales knit themselves together into her skin. Thus the girl became a mermaid.”

She’d made her own story, like Nonna told her she could. And in this story, Meris was not a girl of knobby knees, burned skin, and scrawny limbs. Instead she was all seaweed and pearls, a thing of the sea.

“And she lived happily ever after.”

Brittany Stone
is currently studying abroad at the University of Edinburgh. She has published several poems at her home institution, the University of Iowa. Her current plans include using Edinburgh for a staging ground for a whirlwind tour of Europe…oh, and attending classes.

Martin Heavisides MIDNIGHT, AFTER

 
These are not normal times, a teacup might well be a murder vessel
Pastry crumbs might help discover a trail false transit orders had obscured.

Grass stains were messages written in unforeseen languages
Not what you’d expect from a bumpy slide down a hil

I didn’t know if I recognized the street where the crime was staged
Certainly not the stranger
Standing on the subway track in the city of light.

A sliver of moon or a fat round beacon
Which is more fitting for garrot or pistol?

A bell tolls in pursuit of a fleeing figure
Minute traces of apricot danish on a microscopic slide.

"If they can put a man on the moon and a camera on Mars
Why can’t they reconstruct the whole youth and childhood of a killer
From minute glass granules tweezered at the crime scene?"

"But that’s exactly how the case was solved!"
"Exactly! And now the true killer is at large
The false killer sues for exhorbitant damages
The coffers of the state can ill afford."

"In the old days he’d have been hung! certainly we’d regret it
Should we once discover our error
But the cost! we’d save considerably on that."
"I don’t know, heirs and relations. . . " "Oh, really
Are those still in fashion? I’d heard otherwise."

Under the rain-dripping awning I watched the smoke curl up
From my cigarette as I studied a distant window.

Parties are held in comfortable rooms with fireplaces
Through the glimmering blaze might be just electric illusion.

Smoke tea leaves bloodsock kettle poppy
Wind chime sudden gust is somebody there?
Who’s that reflected in the curve of the kettle?
What’s in his hand where the image curls out of sight?

I couldn’t be certain I’d been hired to investigate
But I certainly had unlimited credit and air miles
And well-tailored suits for concealing an equalizer.

"If he’s anywhere on this round teeming earth
I’ll track him and he and his crimes will cease."
"But surely vigilante justice is not civilization’s way!"
"If he’s orbitting somewhere in space. . . sorry what that you said!"

Some countries are harder than others to enter and leave
Some I fled as an exile, some under clouds of suspicion.
To be on the right side of the law’s a rare event
Though I never went as far on the wrong side as murder.

Lately I’ve traded gunfire on foour of six habitable continents
Out of character, I was aiming to kill
So was the man I was tracking but we were both slippery
I had no death on my conscience but who was hunting whom?

My air miles had air miles, a previously undiscovered talent for disguise
Sometimes gained me a step or two, but my prey was elusive
Never himself of the same appearance twice
Little trails of tea and flaked pasty were sometimes left to annoy me
Unless I was twins I couldn’t see how he was second guessing so well.

I was some help keeping his victim count down
Stopping me in my tracks I think became an obsession
Sometimes I got a step too far ahaead and heard footsteps behind me.

Once we both disguissed ourselves as the same noted restarauteur
Opening franchises in rival cities a scant hundred miles apart
Both falling in love with the same beautiful woman
Who couldn’t tell us apart though she didn’t know it
Whom I, at least, was concerned to keep alive.

Heard rumours of an aerialist’s balloon speeding upward
Nearing escape velocity before it crashed burning to earth
Inspected the wreckage, DNA specs in hand and heart in mouth.

Lived fourteen days in a well disguised as an overlarge frog
Studying for signs of artificial tampering with the moss
A snake slithered by me at one moment hissing
The old school tie and tux set off alarm bells of suspicion.

Notes were exchanged: "If things could only happen at the right time precisely
You’d be amazed how void of incident life would be."
"Can there ever be a right time for murder?" "You seem to think so.
I have bullet nicks on both ears to prove it."
"I beg to differ. Hounding to bloody earth an animal such as you. . . "
"I never give to beggars and blood? I prefer to keep it."

"Why did you murder my fiancee?" "An accident I regretted
At the time and more so now. I’d love to retire.
All this chasing round the globe and gunfire business is a nuisance.
Isn’t it time we called it quits?"
"Stand still just once when I shoot and we will. Otherwise
Not while I’ve got a frequent flier mile left to my name."
I was known in many places, "Your money’s no good" they’d say.

When I’ve finished this, will there be other assisgnments?
Pleased he’s so weary of the chase but me?
Pepetual mystery, exotic climes
Scars, near misses, beautiful trembling women
It’s like a bath for every sense at once
Including those we’ve never got round to naming
Drugs I can take or leave and frequently do
But the pulse beat just beneath the skin on the wrist
You know the one I mean, it rides a blue vein
As the trail leads past alleys with feet poking out behind garbage cans
Past scenes of industrial blight and gorgeous excess consumption
A world of resplendent evil against which a shadow play for two
Of small morality works its inexorable course
That I can take and take and will with each animate breath
Apart from anything else, I’ve never been a saver
When this one’s done I hope there’s another assignment.

 
 
Martin Heavisides
has published his first novel, Undermind, at Crossing Chaos Press, a full-length play, a study of the English playwright Peter Barnes, a very rude essay on ideas about God and a study of Louis Armstrong in Linnet’s Wings; Film Rights and Practica in Sein Und Werden; a poem in Cella’s Round Trip; a poem cycle in FRiGG; Cubist Torso and a cartoon in Mad Hatter’s Review; a flash in Gambara, to name only a few. He expects to be featured in an animated film soon impropria persona. Rumours of a yellow teddy bear as muse are rigorously denied.

Jared Singer A LETTER TO SARAH / SARAH’S REPLY

 
A Letter to Sarah
Contemplating Super Powers

If I could regenerate any damage to my body,
I would double back flip belly flop
off the tallest building I could find.
I would make you watch.
Would not tell you it won’t kill me.
When my body hits the ground,
turns bone to dust,
when blood splatters across your face
there will be a moment
where your heart stops,
where the belly drops out of your everything.
I would calmly walk over to you and say
yeah, ever since you killed yourself
it’s been like that for all of us
All of the time.

If I could fly,
I would take you so high so fast
you would be terrified that wind resistance
alone would rip you out of my arms.
Don’t worry.
I would hold onto you with a strength
born of fear and longing.
When your vision starts to go black
I will whisper-
If you’d only told us something was wrong
we could’ve held you
told you we loved you.
We could have helped.
I would stop,
as the oxygen floods back into your brain
everything would come into focus.
I would tell you yeah,
every day was like that with you,
you always made sure
we saw the glory in front of us.

If I could read people’s minds,
I would not invade your privacy.
Instead I would eavesdrop on every passerby.
tattoo my arms with all the compliments,
every wow she’s good looking,
every I wish I was that confident.
Meeting all of your ex-lovers
would turn my chest and back into a masterpiece.
Record every thing they should have told you
every how could I have ever let her get away,
every she was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My legs would turn into patchwork with hatch marks
for every time I wished you were still with me.
It would not take a full day
to cover this body with all of the nice things people
didn’t think you needed to hear.

If I could travel through time,
I would go back to the moment
before it was too late.
Right before the moment you wrote a suicide note
that started Dear Jared:
I’m doing this now because I know you will be the one to find me
because of all of my friends I think you’re the one
whose strong enough to take it.
What made you think I was strong enough to take this?
I would go back to the moment before you
became the reason I don’t read letters
without having someone else proof read them first,

If I could project my thoughts in another’s heard,
even knowing it could never have saved you.
But believing maybe it could have saved me,
you would never have doubted,
even for an instant,
that you were loved.

Sarah’s Reply
 
For the man who found me after my suicide

Dear Jared:


I wish I could say I was sorry for what I did,
or at least for making you be the one to find me,
but I just don’t see the point in lying anymore.
I only have one question left,
Why is it taking you so long to join me.
Don’t you know why you are
so comfortable on Halloween
or during monster movies,
It’s because you see yourself in them.

Jared, I have never known some one
more like a zombie than you.
I don’t mean a B-rate special effects zombie
covered in fake blood moaning about brains.
I mean, how many times have you found yourself
shuffling slowly forward in search of something
you don’t even understand anymore.
Refusing to let anything stop you
wouldn’t it be easier
one single shot.

If you were a vampire, Jared,
would you even notice the difference.
When was the last time you looked in a mirror
and saw something you recognized.
They say that a day in the arms of a loved one
can feel like an instant.
The opposite is also true.
How long have these 23 years dragged on.
Does it feel like a lifetime yet,
Do you feel immortal yet.

You have always been my Frankenstein, Jared
built out of spare parts
by a half mad doctor
more concerned with creating life
than  potential consequences.
He gave you up for adoption.
You are so strong, Jared,
able to bear with your stitched together muscles
and your stitched together heart
more than any man was meant to.

When the villagers came
with pitchfork and torch for Frankenstein,
he ran. Why didn’t you run Jared?
Why did you stay, why weren’t you strong enough
To just let them burn.

You used to call me your guardian angel.
I think this is true now
our halos are forged of what makes us holy.
Mine is made of tiny spinning images of your face Jared.
of your belief in me.
My wings are formed out of every letter you wrote me
Even the one I pretended not to read.
You were always my second family Jared
Let me return the favor.
Follow my voice,
let me hold you like you used to hold me,

I am waiting.
I know it’s selfish,
but I hope it doesn’t take too long
I miss you.

 
 
Jared Singer‘s
work has previously appeared on the Indiefeed Performance Podcast. He writes, lives, and works in New York City.

Bobby Parker SACRED NAMES

 
I remember the small shanty town beyond the Rubble. We each had a shack not much bigger than a cubicle knocked together with sheets of corrugated metal, draughty gaps patched up with planks that got so rotten in the rain the wood crumbled like wet biscuits. I didn’t know much about the others. Mostly runaways hiding out to escape the Big Schedule. Everything was temporary. I spent my time filling notebooks with prayers, stooped in my creaky shack near the gate where the grass was flat like greasy hair. Each time I finished a notebook I ran to the river and lobbed it into the burbling ripples. I don’t know why I did that, it wasn’t a magic river or anything. Half submerged automobiles clagged with leaves. Dead fish. Stinky foam.

The day before I left for the coast a girl called Sparrow ran up to me and slapped my face, her hand so sweaty it caught me like a damp towel. She had one of my notebooks in her other hand. Could have sworn I tossed it in the river. It had a red cover. Prayers for the way Sparrow made me want to burn the world in her honour. Her full lips; chestnut hair; eyes like petals. The way she stood, weight shifted onto her left leg, hands on hips, angel face pouting at the sun. My scribbled prayers asking God for help – she made me feel like the Devil. 

‘Don’t write to God about me!’ she hissed. ‘If the others found this they would have a fit, they’d piss on you when you’re sleeping, or cast you out like Sammy the Shoe!’
 
‘Do you want to come to the river with me?’ I asked. ‘I want to show you something, but don’t tell the others.’ My question knocked her off balance, she took a step back and laughed, not a particularly nice laugh, but I could tell she was curious. She gave me the notebook. Our fingers touched. She made me feel like the Devil.

We walked to the river in silence. I could feel her looking at me, trying to figure me out; her stare felt hot as hell. Over the slobbering water we could hear the others banging dustbin lids, Singing, howling.

 

‘Well, what do you want to show me?’ she asked with a sneer. I leapt at her and kissed the sneer. It was like kissing a keyhole. Then the sneer softened. I was kissing a rose. I was kissing a smile. She stroked my face with her pinkie finger. We watched the mucky water for a while. I told her my secrets. She listened, her small face knotted with concern. I threw the notebook into the river. A crow heckled us and tore through the sick trees. 

Back at the camp the others had begun the ritual. I had the giggles. Sparrow slapped me, harder this time. My right cheek burned and I burned and we watched the others goofing around, skinny faces streaked with charcoal and mud, waving torches, chanting the sacred names over a pathetic campfire: Scooby-Doo, Bugs Bunny, Mighty Mouse, Popeye…

 
 
Bobby Parker‘s
debut collection, Pictures of Screaming People, is available from Erbacce Press. He also has some homemade books which are too weird for publishers – contact bobzparker@hotmail.co.uk for more details.

Austin Alexis DEMONS

 
      for Theresa…

In that house with your collie and family,
prowling, banging around your furnace room
with their invisible fists:
entities, monstrously motivated.
Noising on tin surfaces, on steel,
hissing when in the mood
then lunging into a threatening quiet,
these non-human beings
want a child, a sacrifice, a soul.

They will resist your entreaties to leave,
your prayers to religious figures
to make these phantoms crawl away.
They have enthroned themselves in your home
as if it were the castle of Faust.
They will ignore
your tactic of ignoring them.
Their Medusa roots won’t tear
when yanked; such fibers can’t be snapped.
Your intruders shall never go anywhere
where you are not.
Get used to it.
Get used to them–
their bitter music,
their
metallic sighs,
their unearthly screeches.

It’s only a requiem.

 
 
Austin Alexis
has been published by Poets Wear Prada (poetry chapbook), Six Sentences (micro fiction), Dana Literary Society Online Journnal (short story), Barrow Street, The Pedestal Magazine and elsewhere. He received a Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference Scholarship and a Millay Colony Residency Fellowship.